We Have a Winner…?

Published by babstar at 12:02 pm under Uncategorized Edit This

Well, I finally tested. And it has barely told me anything so far. :)

I tested yesterday morning (12DPO) and got a very faint positive:

Very exciting! Even DH could see it, so that’s about as good as a blood positive. ;) That was my last test from babycreation.com, so we had to run to Dollar Tree and pick some up. (They actually have very good reviews from many sources, believe it or not.) I held my pee for four hours and tested again that evening. BFN. :(

Then, right before bed, I checked my CM and discovered pinky-brown tinged mucus. There was hardly any of it, but, well, you know. I thought it was all over. I went to bed completely shattered, feeling like this is never going to happen. I prayed, I cried a little, and I even mentally begged the baby to stick around. TTC is clearly making me crazy! I was up half the night running over all my symptoms and when I last felt them in my head. It was a rough night.

Luckily, I got enough sleep to temp. A high temp! God be praised! So I slept in for a few hours to keep working up some good FMU, then I tested with another Dollar Store HPT.

That looks like a BFP to me! Very faint, but hey, I’m taking what I can get. I haven’t had any colorful CM this morning either. I’m still not sure if I’m having symptoms again (although I am having some off and on light nausea right now). It worries me that I did finally poo (again with the TMI!), but hey, you can’t go 40 weeks without it, right? It’s possible that coffee helps with pregnancy symptoms, because I notice they go away for the most part during/after my morning cup. (And yes, I’m still drinking my morning cup. I gave up coffee last time for 6 months of TTC and two months of pregnancy, and look where that got me. ;))

Anyway, yes, I am freaking out. I still feel like this is maybe a cosmic joke. If I saw these tests from anyone else I’d say they were pregnant, but I’m scared to convince myself. I did announce it on my boards today and add a ticker to my Google page. I figure that I might as well enjoy this pregnancy whether it lasts a week or 40 weeks, and the first steps to enjoying it are the timid ones into acknowledgment. Not that I won’t be running to the bathroom twenty times today thinking my panties are full of blood, but hey, at least I’m not living in denial.

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